Post-secondary strife.

I'm going through another bout of university strife. Everyone in my grade is going through university strife. So much strife.

So, I've come up with a basic formula for university strife: it begins as the simple question "What do I want to do next year?". Then it leads to "Well, what I want to do with my life?". Then comes the practical things, like looking at university websites and brochures to see what is in the general ballpark of what I can see myself doing. I go to a few university info sessions, ask questions to people I know, talk to other people my age about what they know and plan on doing. Now, I've reached the step of actively considering applying.

Through this huge mental process of getting ready for this step, I've narrowed down several things: I can definitely see myself being happiest at a relatively small liberal arts school. After looking at the programs offered, I can deduce that Journalism truly is something that I want to pursue. That narrows down my most likely options at this point to Saint Thomas University (STU) and University of King's College. Both are small liberal arts schools, have respected Journalism programs, aren't too far away, and have close connections to larger universities, so they offer the advantages of both small schools and large schools.

I can obviously apply to both of them (and very likely get in, due to my good marks and the nature of applying to Canadian universities), but when it comes down to which one I would prefer to go to, up until today the pro/con lists come out pretty even. Like, ridiculously, painfully even.

But today I talked to Moriah today (as we seem to do with any decision we make in our lives) about this ridiculous mental battle I'm having between these two schools. I think aloud very well to Moriah, because I know she offers trustworthy perspective and advice, and it's a habit we've got in. I stated that even though King's is slightly more expensive and further away, the school overall appeals to me more (even though I've never been there...) and I kind of want to give myself some distance. I want to start off new, which is the most cliché thing to say when going to university, but it's something that I feel I owe myself, something I've never completely gotten to do before. I need to find myself, guys (which is half a joke cliché and half how I genuinely feel). Partially due to my family's history of missionary work and my parents' time in university in Fredericton, I feel like if I go to STU, there's potential for me to forever be connected to them and have that dragging me down. I want to start off with a clean slate and no preconceived notations of my character to be bashed. Moriah reaffirmed my belief that I should start next year with some distance by confidently replying "Yeah, I think that you need that. Not everybody does, but with you, definitely yes."

Not to mention Halifax is (almost) a big city, there's more interesting things there and the school appeals to me more. It looks like a beautiful liberal arts haven of literature, knowledge, and artsy culture.

STU still has the advantage of being closer, more familiar and less expensive.

But as of today King's is winning. I'll reevaluate that after the choir trip to Halifax in a month. I think we're going to visit some universities, which would be endlessly convenient and save me finding the resources to get me there another time.

Now to apply and stuff. I should do that this week, as I don't have any shifts and now I feel that any time I don't work needs to be super productive.

Anyone else feeling the post-secondary strife?
Hearts,
-J-

Also, this was in my Amazon suggestions.

Which makes me question myself and humanity in general.

And makes me think twice about what I use Amazon for.
Amazon thinks I'm in a very specific demographic of crazy people.