Today I realized something about my entire social circle in their senior year:
Everyone is cracking.
Well, probably not everyone. But being acquainted with almost all of the IB 12 portion of the school, I can reasonably say that with a month left until IB exams and with nearly three years of IB behind us, a good portion of us have borderline given up for the last intensely academic month of high school. People who for years had these intense desires for achievement are gradually learning to half ass everything. I spend my days surrounded by apathetic students who just want to get out of there because we're counting down every day that gets us closer to leaving high school.
This realization that we're out of here soon is doing weird things to people, as everyone has already applied to universities and scholarships and all that's left is a waiting game. Some people are on edge because they have too much on their plate and have little motivation to deal with any of it. Some people are sentimentally hanging on to everything they've stood for in high school but most people are 1000% done and ready to move on. There's just some downright weird things happening.
I'm personally trying my hardest to shirk school responsibilities while making plans for after May 9th, the day of my last IB exam. From then until mid-June, I'll have three classes: Journalism, Photography and Law. I'm positive I won't be caring much by then, nor will I need to because I'll practically glide through those sad excuses for courses whether I show up often or not. That leaves plenty of time for actually having hobbies again. I look forward to this.
Only around a month left.
Hearts,
Julianne
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Barista rage.
Baristas have a reputation of spending a lot of time being annoyed and having a lot of feelings of injustice. I mean, when groups containing multiple baristas get together, we thoroughly enjoy bitching about people. People do treat us badly occasionally but I think that we just take it too personally sometimes.
We've learned some little passive aggressive tricks to make us feel better when we feel wronged but can't show public rage. For example, there's this family that doesn't speak much English that comes in and lets their kids run wild and every time they make huge messes in Indigo and our store. They somehow manage to cover half the store in crumbs every time. Their 8 year old boy consistently gets a cappuccino and I decided a while ago that he doesn't need that caffeine so I gave him decaf. I was slightly berated by my supervisor with some sort of ethics thing that if someone pays $5 for a drink, they should get exactly what they order. From what I hear from elsewhere, though, decafing is subtly commonly practiced by quite a few people. I was basically told I'm better than that. But my inner small child tells me that it feels good to be passive aggressive sometimes.
There's a larger store ridiculously close to ours and I know a lot of the people who work there. Since they have more customers and a drive thru, they have more opportunity to perfect passive aggressive justice. My friend Shawn told me about getting annoyed at people, especially around Christmas, who got gift cards in the drive thru, which in all honesty is kind of a dick move. Since he had freedom to grab whatever card he pleased, he often went for the "Thank you teacher" one. This became widely practiced to the point that they completely ran themselves out of "Thank you teacher" gift cards.
Other times, though, people are just a little annoying. Like when people stuff garbage into the bottom of ceramic mugs for us to dig out. Or camping out in the cafe around close as we mop around them. Or returning drinks with really vague complaints such as "It just doesn't taste quite right," especially regulars that do that over and over. Or when someone complained on an online survey that our drinks are too expensive like we could actually change that.
We all just get really sick of people after a while.
Hearts,
Julianne
We've learned some little passive aggressive tricks to make us feel better when we feel wronged but can't show public rage. For example, there's this family that doesn't speak much English that comes in and lets their kids run wild and every time they make huge messes in Indigo and our store. They somehow manage to cover half the store in crumbs every time. Their 8 year old boy consistently gets a cappuccino and I decided a while ago that he doesn't need that caffeine so I gave him decaf. I was slightly berated by my supervisor with some sort of ethics thing that if someone pays $5 for a drink, they should get exactly what they order. From what I hear from elsewhere, though, decafing is subtly commonly practiced by quite a few people. I was basically told I'm better than that. But my inner small child tells me that it feels good to be passive aggressive sometimes.
There's a larger store ridiculously close to ours and I know a lot of the people who work there. Since they have more customers and a drive thru, they have more opportunity to perfect passive aggressive justice. My friend Shawn told me about getting annoyed at people, especially around Christmas, who got gift cards in the drive thru, which in all honesty is kind of a dick move. Since he had freedom to grab whatever card he pleased, he often went for the "Thank you teacher" one. This became widely practiced to the point that they completely ran themselves out of "Thank you teacher" gift cards.
Other times, though, people are just a little annoying. Like when people stuff garbage into the bottom of ceramic mugs for us to dig out. Or camping out in the cafe around close as we mop around them. Or returning drinks with really vague complaints such as "It just doesn't taste quite right," especially regulars that do that over and over. Or when someone complained on an online survey that our drinks are too expensive like we could actually change that.
We all just get really sick of people after a while.
Hearts,
Julianne
Friday, March 29, 2013
Easter weekend.
- My grandparents are over for the weekend and no matter how much I love them, I'm so sick of my family trying to be painfully wholesome. We went bowling at 10am on a Friday. I had to get out of bed for that.
- A boy I had a crush on in 6th grade in Kenya got accepted into Harvard. I'm kind of patting 12 year old me on the back for having good taste.
- Yesterday I felt like a really average person after my really average IB English oral commentary so I tried to make myself feel better by eating mac and cheese, followed by buying guitar strings and sewing a skirt. Those were my honest to goodness attempts to prove to myself that I can accomplish things.
- Doctor Who tomorrow night. I'll probably spend Sunday bitter and muttering curses upon Moffat.
- I love this five day weekend because I needed this.
Julianne
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Don't party on school nights, kids.
In the past six months, I swear that I've watched one of my friends/also shift supervisors gradually transform into Ke$ha. Last night I closed with her, she opened this morning and in the brief time between that she went to a house party and got trashed. Today she kept complaining about how much her body hurt because last night (1) she slept on a couch and (2) she also fell down stairs three times. And yet this isn't nearly as bad as a night a few weeks ago when she broke her friend's toilet with her sexual exploits. I think that moment solidified her immunization to shame.
It's especially funny because she's nonchalantly trying to pull people down with her. She asked me what I was doing tomorrow and I replied that I going to school and then working the evening. She then casually went "So, probably not time for acid?". Firstly, 'partners in work, grocery shopping and LSD' isn't the sort of friendship I'm sure I can handle. And secondly, tomorrow is a freaking Monday. As someone who doesn't do parties or abuse substances, I still believe that partying should be confined to weekends. I get annoyed at people who let it leak back into Thursdays and forward into Mondays. You just don't do that. Thirdly, I can't help but feel that she's getting a bit of initiative from Reeves to corrupt me into a replacement version of him (he's more determined than I originally thought about this matter, I'm honestly a little frightened.) Most people she tells about her exploits are really impressed that she's a functioning person in society.
Pro-tip: Stay in school, only party on weekends and probably try avoiding substance abuse with your supervisor. My common sense has spoken.
Hearts,
Julianne
It's especially funny because she's nonchalantly trying to pull people down with her. She asked me what I was doing tomorrow and I replied that I going to school and then working the evening. She then casually went "So, probably not time for acid?". Firstly, 'partners in work, grocery shopping and LSD' isn't the sort of friendship I'm sure I can handle. And secondly, tomorrow is a freaking Monday. As someone who doesn't do parties or abuse substances, I still believe that partying should be confined to weekends. I get annoyed at people who let it leak back into Thursdays and forward into Mondays. You just don't do that. Thirdly, I can't help but feel that she's getting a bit of initiative from Reeves to corrupt me into a replacement version of him (he's more determined than I originally thought about this matter, I'm honestly a little frightened.) Most people she tells about her exploits are really impressed that she's a functioning person in society.
Pro-tip: Stay in school, only party on weekends and probably try avoiding substance abuse with your supervisor. My common sense has spoken.
Hearts,
Julianne
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Probably unnecessary enlightenment.
I got my acceptance letter for King's today and I feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Also, Reeves has decided to "corrupt [me] in like, a good way, as a gift to someone [he] loves very much": he's taking it upon himself to train me to be a good replacement of him for Hannah next year. I joked that the first step was to talk exclusively in metaphors but he just responded with a "No." So far, I have several approved steps on my path to Reeves Enlightenment:
1) Think you know more about something than you do.
2) Everything in moderation, including moderation.
So my basic steps to becoming a suitable replacement for the most self knowingly eccentric/pretentious person I know is (1) to subconsciously make things up and (2) go insane occasionally.
I suppose I can add from my own knowledge the steps of sending ambiguous texts and giving off illusions of grandeur and mystery.
I feel like there are so many more steps to come because Reeves is bored and I get the impression that he likes to manipulate things when he's bored, this time out of mostly narcissism. We're going to name this operation eventually when the name "reveals itself" and have meetings and everything. I look forward to learning how to be Reeves from Reeves.
I might just be marathoning too much Friends lately but this seems like a bit of a sitcom situation. However, most things about Reeves seems to be a bit of a sitcom situation.
(And that's the most interesting thing that's happened to me as of late.)
Hearts,
Julianne
Also, Reeves has decided to "corrupt [me] in like, a good way, as a gift to someone [he] loves very much": he's taking it upon himself to train me to be a good replacement of him for Hannah next year. I joked that the first step was to talk exclusively in metaphors but he just responded with a "No." So far, I have several approved steps on my path to Reeves Enlightenment:
1) Think you know more about something than you do.
2) Everything in moderation, including moderation.
So my basic steps to becoming a suitable replacement for the most self knowingly eccentric/pretentious person I know is (1) to subconsciously make things up and (2) go insane occasionally.
I suppose I can add from my own knowledge the steps of sending ambiguous texts and giving off illusions of grandeur and mystery.
I feel like there are so many more steps to come because Reeves is bored and I get the impression that he likes to manipulate things when he's bored, this time out of mostly narcissism. We're going to name this operation eventually when the name "reveals itself" and have meetings and everything. I look forward to learning how to be Reeves from Reeves.
I might just be marathoning too much Friends lately but this seems like a bit of a sitcom situation. However, most things about Reeves seems to be a bit of a sitcom situation.
(And that's the most interesting thing that's happened to me as of late.)
Hearts,
Julianne
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Crazier than usual?
This weekend was, in its entirety, really strange. It was like one of those dreams where everything feels slightly wrong and a little removed from reality.
On Saturday, I kept running into people completely out of context and it put me in a strange mood. I worked an evening shift which was a little unusual for the weekend. I worked with Missy and Hannah and Reeves came to visit us. Reeves told me a valuable pro-tip: if you ever have to go to an all age show with a bunch of punk kids, you can fit an entire bottle of wine in the largest Burger King cup. I thanked Reeves for this knowledge I will definitely use countless times in my future. When I went home after work I was in a weird mood and I got a few somewhat panicked texts from Maegan telling me to come to Tatyana's, and despite the fact that I was making myself some meatballs and was already in my pjs, I went anyway. I stopped at Tim Hortons to get timbits because I was in the mood for spherical food and I ran into my parents in the parking lot. I arrived at Tatyana's at 11pm to Tatyana yelling at me "Maegan met a boy! She met a boy!" and the details of the BVT gig they went to, where, evidently, Maegan met a boy. Maegan, who proved the claims that if she tries to load emotions she crashes, was anxious and unable to deal with anything, Moriah was giggling on the floor, Tatyana was hardcore facebook creeping, and I was quietly eating noodles and spherical food in the corner. The extent of her 'meeting a boy' was dancing with him at the gig, briefly yelling things at each other, and getting each others phone numbers. I disproved because his cover photo features him in a backwards baseball hat. Then I fell asleep.
Today I woke up at Tatyana's I realized I left my work shoes at home across town and instead of going three blocks over to church, I had to drive across town and back to get a damn pair of shoes. On my journey, I just kind of collapsed at a Tim Hortons for half an hour eating oatmeal because there was no breakfast food at Tatyana's and I had no motivation to move. I got to church an hour late. At the end of the service, I got a facebook message from a former youth leader/guy that I worked with a few summers ago telling me that he has a cyst in his brain and he's getting surgery in a few weeks. "Hey I'm getting brain surgery" was the cherry on top of my slightly surreal weekend. It was only them that I left to get to work for 1pm.
Hearts,
Julianne
On Saturday, I kept running into people completely out of context and it put me in a strange mood. I worked an evening shift which was a little unusual for the weekend. I worked with Missy and Hannah and Reeves came to visit us. Reeves told me a valuable pro-tip: if you ever have to go to an all age show with a bunch of punk kids, you can fit an entire bottle of wine in the largest Burger King cup. I thanked Reeves for this knowledge I will definitely use countless times in my future. When I went home after work I was in a weird mood and I got a few somewhat panicked texts from Maegan telling me to come to Tatyana's, and despite the fact that I was making myself some meatballs and was already in my pjs, I went anyway. I stopped at Tim Hortons to get timbits because I was in the mood for spherical food and I ran into my parents in the parking lot. I arrived at Tatyana's at 11pm to Tatyana yelling at me "Maegan met a boy! She met a boy!" and the details of the BVT gig they went to, where, evidently, Maegan met a boy. Maegan, who proved the claims that if she tries to load emotions she crashes, was anxious and unable to deal with anything, Moriah was giggling on the floor, Tatyana was hardcore facebook creeping, and I was quietly eating noodles and spherical food in the corner. The extent of her 'meeting a boy' was dancing with him at the gig, briefly yelling things at each other, and getting each others phone numbers. I disproved because his cover photo features him in a backwards baseball hat. Then I fell asleep.
Today I woke up at Tatyana's I realized I left my work shoes at home across town and instead of going three blocks over to church, I had to drive across town and back to get a damn pair of shoes. On my journey, I just kind of collapsed at a Tim Hortons for half an hour eating oatmeal because there was no breakfast food at Tatyana's and I had no motivation to move. I got to church an hour late. At the end of the service, I got a facebook message from a former youth leader/guy that I worked with a few summers ago telling me that he has a cyst in his brain and he's getting surgery in a few weeks. "Hey I'm getting brain surgery" was the cherry on top of my slightly surreal weekend. It was only them that I left to get to work for 1pm.
Hearts,
Julianne
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
My days currently go like this:
9am- IB English
10ish- Journalism class. I never do anything because I can accomplish a week's worth of assignments in 20 minutes flat.
11ish- IB History
12ish- Lunch
1ish- Photography class. I really never do anything. We're even allowed to leave the classroom to 'take pictures' aka walk down the street to get a coffee and justify it by taking a single photo.
2ish- Law class. I actually do things and feel the need to show up and do things because (1) I like the teacher and (2) half the class doesn't show up.
4ish- Get home
4:30- Leave to go to work or procrastinate with the occasional panicked bout of homework.
It's a little disquieting to have my day alternating between classes where loads are expected from me to classes where the teacher assumes everyone is an idiot. For goodness sake, I'm considering just turning photography into a homework period either in the classroom or walking down the street to a coffee shop. It's just not worth the effort to sit in the classroom and struggle to find things photography related to kill time with.
After May 10th, my IB periods are free so I'm strategizing ahead of time ways to maximize my time skipping class but still being marked present. My classes will be even more of a colossal joke. I plan to catch up on a lot of reading and revisit the revolutionary concept of having a social life. May 10th is freedom.
Hearts,
Julianne
10ish- Journalism class. I never do anything because I can accomplish a week's worth of assignments in 20 minutes flat.
11ish- IB History
12ish- Lunch
1ish- Photography class. I really never do anything. We're even allowed to leave the classroom to 'take pictures' aka walk down the street to get a coffee and justify it by taking a single photo.
2ish- Law class. I actually do things and feel the need to show up and do things because (1) I like the teacher and (2) half the class doesn't show up.
4ish- Get home
4:30- Leave to go to work or procrastinate with the occasional panicked bout of homework.
It's a little disquieting to have my day alternating between classes where loads are expected from me to classes where the teacher assumes everyone is an idiot. For goodness sake, I'm considering just turning photography into a homework period either in the classroom or walking down the street to a coffee shop. It's just not worth the effort to sit in the classroom and struggle to find things photography related to kill time with.
After May 10th, my IB periods are free so I'm strategizing ahead of time ways to maximize my time skipping class but still being marked present. My classes will be even more of a colossal joke. I plan to catch up on a lot of reading and revisit the revolutionary concept of having a social life. May 10th is freedom.
Hearts,
Julianne
Monday, March 11, 2013
Today, I acquired:
- A two inch long cut on my hand from the bread knife that I was trying to cut my bagel with. Between the eczema and oven burn already on my hands, doing anything is kind of hell. At this rate, I'm likely to lose a hand by the end of the week.
- A roommate for next year. Since we are two of the three people we know who are planning on going to King's, Hannah just kind of assumed that we were going to be roommates and started making plans without actually asking me first. However, I'm totally fine with someone I could live with semi-adopting me and making decisions about my living arrangements. And Hannah is a really fantastic person, though we haven't been good friends until lately. I think we could be easily compatible roommates. It's a pretty great feeling to know something, anything about my life come late August.
- A pair of Gangnam Style socks. Will felt bad about the roaming fees I got from him sending me texts while I was in the states so he gave me a gift of cat stickers, a box of crayons and the socks. I feel like there's a proper occasion to wear Gangnam Style socks and I just don't know what it is yet.
- A realization that if I have to pay $15000 for a year of education, the cafeteria had better have chocolate milk on tap.
Julianne
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Day one: NYC
Today I learned that I'm so good at cities.
Just kidding. I woke up feeling ok and at noon I was ok but then in Connecticut about twenty minutes from the New York boarder, I was suddenly really aware that I was on a crowded four lane divided highway. I was simultaneously struck with claustrophobia and fear of fast cars, despite that I was but a passenger. Needless to say, the rest of the drive was not a fun one, but rather one filled with anxious shallow breathing and frantic games of solitaire on my phone with hopes that it would distract me. Then came the actual city. My parents somehow thought walking through Times Square would be a good idea. However, I wasn't really in the mood for such things and didn't want to be near people, touch people, or do anything other than stare downwards, burrow into my scarf and scuffle away from crowds. There probably has never been a worse day for me to go into Times Square.
I guess I need to get out of New Brunswick more often. I've been through London, Amsterdam and Nairobi without too many problems and suddenly I have issues with anything over two lane highways. I walk overcrowded hallways five days a week. I really shouldn't be scared of much. Maybe I'm just aging into an old lady, unsettled by change, way before my time.
Damn sporadic anxiety.
Things will look up from here.
Hearts,
Julianne
Just kidding. I woke up feeling ok and at noon I was ok but then in Connecticut about twenty minutes from the New York boarder, I was suddenly really aware that I was on a crowded four lane divided highway. I was simultaneously struck with claustrophobia and fear of fast cars, despite that I was but a passenger. Needless to say, the rest of the drive was not a fun one, but rather one filled with anxious shallow breathing and frantic games of solitaire on my phone with hopes that it would distract me. Then came the actual city. My parents somehow thought walking through Times Square would be a good idea. However, I wasn't really in the mood for such things and didn't want to be near people, touch people, or do anything other than stare downwards, burrow into my scarf and scuffle away from crowds. There probably has never been a worse day for me to go into Times Square.
I guess I need to get out of New Brunswick more often. I've been through London, Amsterdam and Nairobi without too many problems and suddenly I have issues with anything over two lane highways. I walk overcrowded hallways five days a week. I really shouldn't be scared of much. Maybe I'm just aging into an old lady, unsettled by change, way before my time.
Damn sporadic anxiety.
Things will look up from here.
Hearts,
Julianne
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