Honey badgers FTW.

Everything you didn't want to know about honey badgers, as told by John Green. Because your day needs this. Honestly.

Today, this isn't for you.

I remember reading somewhere in the Emily of New Moon series that there is a moment in every woman's life where she can distinctly remember passing from childhood to adulthood.

It's been a year today.

A lot has happened. Honestly, my life has been pretty screwed up but I've made it through stronger.

It's weird to think of how things used to be. I spent the most enjoyable moments of my childhood with you, treasured those moments and the time we've spent together, the emails we've sent back and forth when we lived across the continent from each other.

Then last year, on this day, my world fell apart. Everything didn't make sense. My emotional distance got the best of me. That moment came when I passed from childhood.

What really got me was that it could have happened to anyone, but it happened to you. Simply going a little too late on a yellow light on the way back from church. My closest childhood friend, a kindred spirit, an all around amazing person. I've established a huge fear of losing people I love since then.

That night, I walked around my neighborhood for hours. I prayed, I cried, I paced, and I don't know much of what else I did. I have memories of a huge blur of pain, confusion, denial, so many things.

Going to your funeral was crazy. At the visitation I wasn't expecting an open casket and after a long day of traveling it caught me off guard. I wish I had a better last memory of seeing you, because there you didn't even look like you. It wasn't you. The essence of you was gone.

It made a really weird atmosphere when Ben, Josh and Jeremy were on pretty potent pain killers. It broke the tension of the situation, but also made it sadder. So many mixed emotions. Especially when Jeremy sat in his wheelchair with a beat up face and opened his birthday presents after the visitation. Ben was not really there. I think the hefty amounts of Vicodin took the edge off for him. But seeing Josh was heartbreaking. He was the least medicated and beat up of the bunch and he had this sadness hanging around him as he smiled and accepted people's hugs and condolences.

Everywhere in those few days I found little pieces of you. Little pieces of you in the surreal, unfamiliar place.

I miss you and it still doesn't make sense, but I'm coming to terms with it... I think. Now that I think about it, out of everybody, I think that you would be the most okay with going, even only at 15. But I can't help but see how much potential you had to make this world a fantastic place because you were slightly strange and never did quite fit in. Things that you cursed yourself for were your biggest strengths, too. I don't know why you were taken so early and I don't think I ever will. 

But someday, we'll meet again. I'm looking forward to it :) (here's an emoticon, which I used to use just to bug you.)
Love,
-J-

Christmas, Christmas time is here.

I woke up to a winter wonderland on Wednesday, our first snow day of the season. We actually shoved off the barbeque so we could have hamburgers for supper. Canada can't get us down!

Today the choir sang at the Mayor's Christmas Tree lighting, an attempt for people to actually see the city's government doing something with the public. We were pretty kickass. We sang a bunch of Christmas carols and even managed the Hallelujah chorus a capella. I love looking out on to the crowd and seeing people singing along and smiling. After that we went inside Market Square and took advantage of the acoustics offered by standing on the balcony, by invitation of course, as kids on the main floor lined up to see Santa (who actually had a legit long white beard.)

We sing at the Empty Stocking Fund tomorrow, a live TV broadcast fundraiser to help poor families around Christmas. Us girls get to wear our bright red spiffy choir dresses and the guys suit up and put on bow ties (bow ties are cool.) We will wack that Hallelujah chorus out of the hypothetical park.

In another choir note, I found of group of slightly awkward Doctor Who fans to hang out with. *score!* Actually, I was hanging out with them before I realized that they were Doctor Who fans. I guess I'm just getting good at picking friends. Or I'm naturally attracted to awkward people.
Love,
-J-
PS- I got tumblr. Here's the link (right here, click here!), for those of you interested. Give me a shout in the comments if you want me to follow you and/or have some suggestions of who to follow. I'm still figuring it out, forgive me.
Peace, homies.

I'm in love with a Bolivian alpacha sweater.

I have kidnapped this sweater from Moriah for a few days. I covet it.

I went to a coffee house at school tonight. It was epic. It included everything from a poem about wool socks, the Beatles, an angsty teenage song called "I Hate Christine," the Pokemon theme song, a guy hitting every high note of "Halo" and some crazy things which I'm unable to describe in words. I was sitting at a table with some of the IB Music kids, who are rather hilarious. Coffee house=happy.

After half a mug of starbucks coffee, I really hope I can sleep.
Love,
-J-

Just your average lazy Friday night.

The boarded up Paramount theater that people are trying to save uptown.

An artist's impression of what 3 million dollars will apparently do to turn it into a venue. That would be pretty awesome.

Lazy Friday night, time to relax and ponder life, such as: 

• Should I get a tumblr? I like the idea of being able to post all sorts of random pictures etc. without needing any context.Thoughts?
• The cast list came out for Miss Saigon. I'm pretty pumped for my second year in chorus, because last year was epic. Wondering what this year will have in store.
• I finished Jane Eyre last night. What a book. Still haven't pondered that one enough.
• Now I need to find another book to read. Out of Africa? Perhaps.

Love,
-J-

The Shire, Verona, India and the Dark Side.

Despite waking up this morning and not wanting to face the world, some things still managed to make my day:

• A very short guy walked past me on the stairs in mid-conversation. All I heard was "'Cause that's how we do it in the Shire!"
• Kaelen was getting into character during lunch to play Mecrutio in Romeo and Juliet: "My fair maidens, now I shalt leave you with this hip thrust." *Hip thrusts and walks away.*
• Indian food for supper. Omnomnomnom.
• This video (totally worth ten seconds of your life):

 

After all this, I realized I can face the world.

Meh, but still burned out.
Love,
-J-

Poetry?

I think I'm beginning to understand poetry. MADNESS. Even being a somewhat artsy person, I've just never quite got poetry. IB English is forcing me into it.

Or maybe I'm finally losing my marbles. Well, it was inevitable.
Love,
-J-

Markets and ukuleles: A few of my favourite things.

What better thing is there to do on a Saturday morning in November than going on a quest with your parents, grandparents, brother and hipster friend (Moriah) to the Fredericton farmer's market? 

Answer: nothing. 

Moriah and I's agenda included finding a bunch of little birthday presents for a friend (especially fun at a farmer's market), lusting after people's lovely shoes (awkwardly nudging each other whenever we saw nice ones) and finding large quantities of good food within our budgets. We got orange juice, candy cane fudge, noodles, fried wontons and mini donuts, all of which was practically heavenly.

Farmer's markets are such fulfilling places.

Other events of my week include auditioning for the chorus for Miss Saigon on Wednesday. It wasn't too terrifying. I'm looking forward to musical.

I also had my first time singing with the choir for an event at the Remembrance day ceremony on Thursday. Despite the tucked in choir shirts and unintentionally drawing blood with a poppy, I think I liked it.

I have discovered my love of ukuleles. So easy to carry around to serenade people. Simple chords. Unique instrument to play songs for a Christmas tea. Silver Bells, Feliz Navidad and I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas will happen. 

Love,

-J-

Happiness: sitting on a couch on a Sunday evening with a few friends, cuddling under some blankets, listening to some Christmas music while watching a video of a fire place.
Love,
-J-

Hearts. Love. Happy.

I had an awesome day today. Tidal Impact Reunion! None of the older people that I was tight with made it out, but most of the younger ones did. I forgot how much I loved them, since I haven't seen them since that week in July. Our groups still have that really comfortable atmosphere, like we're old friends.

We all had a grand time. I love being around different people for a change. We went on a photo scavenger hunt uptown, hung out in Tim Hortons, played Mafia (Moses' deadpan death stories were the best), ate meat/meat/meat/meat pizza cooked by Dan (who, being a firefighter, should probably have prevented the grease fire in the oven...) and practiced music for tomorrow's service.

I <3 those people so much.
Love,
-J-

8 Tracks playlist: Popular songs from a few years ago played on strings. Hearts love.

Folklore, accents and slippery flowers: My life

 I went to the Post-Secondary fair yesterday. I almost got left behind by the school bus, but realized the room was about three hundred kids short before it was too late.

Now I get to shuffle through a bunch of universities' attempts to steal my soul. Woot for trying to make decisions.

And did you know that you can major in Folklore at Memorial? I kid you not.

Oh, and here's my Halloween costume, made out of a flower shaped sleeping bag:

The trick-or-treaters found me sitting in a chair directly in front of the door, dressed as a flower, blasting dubstep (especially this little ditty) and attempting to keep my laptop from sliding off my lap due to the slippery fabric.
Love,
-J-