It's 5:30am and I still feel too emotionally mangled to face this week with any enthusiasm at all, not to mention I start my Co-op placement at the library this afternoon. Not to mention I have an English presentation on Chilean flora to finish for tomorrow, a yearbook meeting after school in which I need to learn software in the presence of the most pretentious/boring people I've ever found and my overly excitable English teacher who constantly has her head in the clouds, this weird almost cough that is just enough to keep me from sleeping comfortably, a history essay about Bismarck that I want to finish before Thanksgiving weekend, I start applying to universities anytime now, a World Lit paper to start at some point and a job starting in a week that begins with consuming lots of caffeine at an unfortunate time in the evening that means I will either build up my evening caffeine tolerance or not sleep much for two weeks of training. I hope that having a busy life doesn't mean that I break a lot. I can deal with all this, I just don't need unnecessary emotions to get in the way. Pesky emotions.
I look forward to a few things on this list and I can deal with the rest but I'm presently extremely overwhelmed. Hippie Jesus camp just pushed me over the edge. Dammit, Hippie Jesus camp.
All I want right now is a few summer days to live without having half a gazillion things to deal with. I might need take the approach of laying on the floor for a few hours (when I have the time) and eventually get up and continue with life, which usually helps to some degree. I think I'll make it through with the remaining of the $7 of M&Ms I bought on Friday.
And for someone who feels generally content with their life, I've had a lot of existential crises as of late.
Love,
-J-
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