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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Presenting my day, in point form.


  • An early morning bus ride uptown
  • A street proformer playing the didgeridoo at 9am
  • A morning of volunteering for choir camp
    • Attempting to lead a group of kids in a round for a song I don't know
    • Cutting out a ton of cardboard for kids in crafts
    • Witnessing a child declare that apples are evil and then taking handfuls of them
    • Trying to get kids sit still for a half hour small scale string concert
    • Failing miserably at keeping the kids under control  
  •  Leaving camp after lunch to hang out with Maegan and Tatyana
    • Getting pizza at Julius Pizza, where the pest control guy walked in while I was halfway through my pizza, me praying that he was just ordering food, and then him rifling around in the kitchen for a while and being addressed by the worker by name as she filled out paperwork.
    • Colouring pictures in the library while witnessing two of my former youth group buddies having a small mental breakdown while putting a puzzle together that (1) didn't have a picture, (2) wouldn't stay together and (3) had a lot of pieces shaped as farm animals.
    • Beginning a puzzle that was dogs dressed as the characters from the Wizard of Oz, mostly because it cracked us up.
    • Writing a brief blog post for the library blog about colouring pages because it tickled my fancy at the time.
    • Attempting to put together the demon puzzle with a group of five people.
    • Seeing Will for the first time in over a month and realizing that there is no substitute for his brand of ridiculous.
  • A BBQ with the IB kids
    • Attempting to play sports and failing miserably.
    •  Going to the beach and leading a couple to see Partridge Island (apparently they were from Indiana and travel to take pictures of lighthouses)
    • Witnessing my (sort of) friend bring his hookah to smoke on the beach by his lonesome while the rest of us had a small Beatles dance party. Ghetto, broski.
    • Starting our fire and taking turns admitting small embarrassing things about ourselves. (When she was little, one of my friends sucked on a barbie head and had to go to the hospital because barbie hair got tangled with her uvula. Nobody could beat that.)
    • Driving home with Katie, stopping to run around a grocery store to get cookie dough and cake mix.
Love,
-J-

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Apple/Cheddar/Bacon Pie Chronicles

Today was one of those days that I left the house and embarked on a large series of things that hopped from one to another.

A bit after noon I went out with my mom to do errands and we ended up sitting in a food court arguing whether an entire room in our house is necessary for storage and if it's easier to get rid of things or store things. I was arguing that I have a future as a minimalist and she didn't believe it. 

My mom told me on the drive to the library that my grandparents' were wondering if I wanted to buy their car when they got rid of it. I responded very positively to that statement, but then I realized several things: (1) I don't know how much they want for it, (2) I don't know what condition it's in, (3) I don't know when they want to sell it and (4) I don't know if I have the money to maintain a vehicle (but I probably would if I got a job, but out of 25 places I have dropped applications, none have even called me back). I have come to the conclusion that if things fall into place, I will buy their car. Having a car would be a wonderful thing because my parents would stop complaining about driving me places, causing me guilt and I could get places without bumming rides from friends/their parents or taking the slow/infrequent/inconvenient bus that doesn't come after 6pm or on weekends. 

I hung around the library for a while until my volunteer hour where I was rather talkative. We toured the inner workings of the library and I then shelved books with Kaelen and ranted about how out friends are turning into crazed delinquents and the fact that I'm beginning to fangirl as much as her boyfriend because he isn't around to reach the fangirl quota that has been implemented in my life. After volunteering I sat in a little alcove until the library closed, listening to music and making pros and cons list about acquiring a car. When the library kicked me out, I got a chocolate chip muffin and sat in a rocking chair overlooking the lower floor of the mall, reading the first few pages of This Side of Paradise. 

It soon reached an acceptable time to seek out the house in which I was invited to supper. Despite the fact that it was only a few streets over, my directionally challenged self turned to google maps to assist with my predicament. After navigating several sketchy streets with people tossing their refuse aggressively out of tall windows in preparation for garbage collection, I reached Katie's house*. I arrived just in time to witness the making of an apple/cheddar/bacon pie. We collected a strange assortment of us between me, Katie, Moriah, Travis, the slightly stoned but well intentioned neighbour Marci and Charlo, the exchange student who was a bit shy but pleasant. We had a strangely good time eating pizza, playing little icebreaker games, being confused and skeptical of the apple/cheddar/bacon pie and watching one of Katie's program's concert because Travis (what a kid) dictated that we do so. At one point, we thought we heard gunshots outside (a few blocks away from a shooting a week ago). Someone ran to the window to see that it was only Marci's grandfather dragging his garbage down the stairs.

Moriah and I then walked a few houses down the street to Tatyana's to quickly catch up after she had gotten back from Ontario ridiculously early in the morning. We heard her entire recount of her month away and looked through her new dresses, pinpointing which ones we will steal briefly sometime in the future. She has the most amazing mint green dress that fits me well despite the fact that there is about a thirty or forty pound difference between me and her.

I finally made it home after ten hours of meandering. 

*At the church picnic on Saturday, she collected a few youth to eat supper at her house some night because she has an exchange student from Quebec staying with her for the summer and he isn't getting a lot of social interaction. I don't know her very well, but she is pretty cool. She plays cello, works as a teacher in an orchestra social program for underprivileged kids and is getting me tons of things to volunteer for. Moriah and I are helping with a choir camp next week, which sounds like a grand time.
Love,
-J-

Your life isn't fully enriched until you have heard this song.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Everytime I'm asked for dating advice, someone uses Comic Sans.

There's this dynamic in my youth group where several of the younger kids are always looking to the older kids for advice. Well, some of them are looking for advice while others are looking for validation.

Strangely, it seems like this asking/bragging is usually about dating, which is kind of funny, because these younger kids are compulsive daters while the older kids are mostly perpetually single. Moriah and I have developed a talk for these kids who seek our wisdom, which I have named "The Platonic Friendship Talk."

So it goes like this: one of the younger kids tells us about their latest dating disaster with innumerable complexities involving people we don't know and things we don't care about. As they near the end of their epic, we exchange glances with each other and eventually a nod.

Then we begin "The Platonic Friendship Talk." Moriah begins by telling them that they don't need to date people at their age and should focus on forming friendships that actually have potential to last. I shut down any of their statements of denial with (what some view as sarcasm but I view as) bitter reality.

Today, I gave a guy dating advice that ended with “Girls are not time shares.” Then I reevaluated my entire life and how I got to the moment where I was talking to someone who legitimately needed to hear the statement “Girls are not time shares” implanted in dating advice. A guy who is fifteen and began a conversation at a church picnic with "I'm a little hungover right now because I went to my ex-girlfriend's brother's nineteenth birthday party last night." It was followed by someone suggesting that he "bask in the patheticness" of the fore mentioned statement.

 Another thing I discovered today was the strong potential for the lives of Moriah, Allan and I to practically mirror multiple characters in 'How I Met Your Mother.' It's decided that I'm Robin, Moriah is Lily and Allan is Ted. The more I think about it, the more frighteningly accurate it is. I look forward to finding Marshall and Barney. I could then die happy.
Love,
-J-

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Kung-fu and nose sweat

Today, things occurred.

It started with attempting to parallel park a mini van in a makeshift parking spot in an elementary school parking lot with my mom, who was freaking out while I kept my cool. Parallel parking a mini van isn't my idea of fun, at all, nor something that I plan on doing ever again. I then embarked on my last driving hour before my road test and the driving instructor passed me hesitantly. I was pumped beyond belief because I didn't think it would happen. I then got home, got ready to Moriah's for lunch and realized I had to take the bus which came by in the following five minutes. I ran to the bus stop in the insane humidity, walked for twenty minutes and arrived to her pleasant little garden luncheon, sweaty and drowsy. We ate a strange assortment of food and then lazed on blankets on the lawn for a while.

Tonight I went to the city's 'Idol' competition by the boardwalk with Katie and managed several things, while forgetting one basic principle of being around groups of people: when you are standing in a crowd, people around you can hear you when you talk. For example, I humored the guy standing in front of me because I was stating to Katie that my nose was sweating badly*. I forgot how strange things I say and comment on must sound to people who don't know me/ are under the influence of something**. There were this enthusiastic drunk woman standing on a bar patio behind us, singing along in a slurred, raspy shout.

When we were walking back to the car this group of kids in front of me suddenly assembled into stances suggesting that a game of Kung-fu was about to erupt. I jumped in, partially out of habit and partially out of not wanted to miss this opportunity to play a game of Kung-fu with strangers***. Katie rolled her eyes and stood watching me play Kung-fu with five teenaged guys, unbeknownst to either of us, at 10:30 at night, in a courtyard full of teenagers. The guys just rolled with it. I'm one of the cool kids, yo.

Then we drove home in our small dance party like manner.

I drank an ice capp at around 8pm and I'm still wired from the caffeine. Should be a fun night, considering that it's 12:45am. 

* As my nose is prone to doing when I wear my outrageous hipster glasses on humid days.
** I may have gotten a little second high from an old man smoking a joint while standing near me, in a crowd surrounded by security. This city's classiness never ceases to amaze me.
*** Strangely, this isn't the first incident of this (rather specific scenario) occurring. It also happened in a courtyard in Boston when people from my choir found another choir hanging around a mall. I won that game. It was one of the few moments in which I've truly shined.
Love,
-J-