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Sunday, July 22, 2012

Everytime I'm asked for dating advice, someone uses Comic Sans.

There's this dynamic in my youth group where several of the younger kids are always looking to the older kids for advice. Well, some of them are looking for advice while others are looking for validation.

Strangely, it seems like this asking/bragging is usually about dating, which is kind of funny, because these younger kids are compulsive daters while the older kids are mostly perpetually single. Moriah and I have developed a talk for these kids who seek our wisdom, which I have named "The Platonic Friendship Talk."

So it goes like this: one of the younger kids tells us about their latest dating disaster with innumerable complexities involving people we don't know and things we don't care about. As they near the end of their epic, we exchange glances with each other and eventually a nod.

Then we begin "The Platonic Friendship Talk." Moriah begins by telling them that they don't need to date people at their age and should focus on forming friendships that actually have potential to last. I shut down any of their statements of denial with (what some view as sarcasm but I view as) bitter reality.

Today, I gave a guy dating advice that ended with “Girls are not time shares.” Then I reevaluated my entire life and how I got to the moment where I was talking to someone who legitimately needed to hear the statement “Girls are not time shares” implanted in dating advice. A guy who is fifteen and began a conversation at a church picnic with "I'm a little hungover right now because I went to my ex-girlfriend's brother's nineteenth birthday party last night." It was followed by someone suggesting that he "bask in the patheticness" of the fore mentioned statement.

 Another thing I discovered today was the strong potential for the lives of Moriah, Allan and I to practically mirror multiple characters in 'How I Met Your Mother.' It's decided that I'm Robin, Moriah is Lily and Allan is Ted. The more I think about it, the more frighteningly accurate it is. I look forward to finding Marshall and Barney. I could then die happy.
Love,
-J-

3 comments:

  1. This sounds highly characteristic of youthies. XP

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  2. haha I give people the "friendship talk" though, mine isn't has planned out. :P

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    Replies
    1. It's not really so much planned out as it is that we've given it on so many occasions that we have it memorized :)

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