Just kidding, actual school and marks things are done but I still have grad church service (which has presented a giant shit show as far as preparation for the grads in choir is concerned), prom and graduation which I just want to get over with so I can have that diploma and finally be done the extremely gradual process that finishing high school has been for me. I don't get that diploma until the 23rd but I'm academically done and that's good enough for now.
I also still feel like strangling a good portion of my grad class.
Everyone is annoying everyone and we still have like four events to get
through with each other. I went to a bonfire last night and determined
that there are a group of people who are being arrogant assholes and a
group of people being assholes to those people as a reaction. There is
not a single group of over five or six people in my grad class that I
can stand anymore because most people are sick of each other after four
years.This summer is going to see me hanging out with a lot of my
undergrad or already graduated friends because they aren't exhausted of
each other the same way grad class is. We're currently like a family that all hate each other but is making no attempts to resolve any conflict.
Speaking of shit shows that are going on with my school, we found out a few days ago that the district isn't renewing the principal's contract and there's an uproar. There's a collection of students who are going a bit over the top with reacting. Protests are planned, petitions are in circulation, an abundance of letters are being written to district office and we've got news coverage on every news outlet around. David has thrown his heart and soul into this, even though he's out of here in a week and a half. I have a theory that few of these people actually care about keeping the principal but rather they're bored and feel like causing a scene to pass some time. I'm sure the district has legitimate reasons for asking the principal to step down and it's not my battle to fight. Especially because no one knows the full story behind anything and people are pretty blindly taking stances. Then again, maybe I've just found a good attitude of passivity and this actually is a big deal. Doubt it, though.
Hearts,
Julianne
Friday, June 14, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
Goals for the next 3 weeks:
- Avoid strangling any members of my grad class
- Have a reasonable time at prom
- Graduate
- Decide whether to cut my hair shorter (four or five inches off) after graduation or let it be
- Sew some of the things I've been meaning to for months
- Go to the beach
- Figure out some sort of cool hobby to kill time with
- Have a cuddle puddle
- Back up my computer
- Make more concrete plans for my August soul searching journey
- Avoid spending much of my paychecks in preparation for above journey
- Finish a book or two
- Go to a bonfire
- Make an actual summer bucket list
Julianne
Friday, June 7, 2013
Things and Stuff.
- The last few days have included endless yearbook signing and everyone is leaking sentiment. I'm really bad at sentiment but I'm getting better at writing it down. There seem to be two types of situations: the people I have little idea what to write for, and the people for whom I can't even begin to capture my feelings on a scrap of the inside of a yearbook cover.
- Some people wrote large, illegible write ups that appear to be meaningful words but their hand writing is atrocious and I can only make out every third word or so.
- I hang out at Maegan's Starbucks because amusing banter like this occurs: Shawn: "Hey, is there a single batch of blonde brewing?" Charming 33 year old barista Mike: *points at me sitting in the cafe* "Well, there's a single batch of blonde brewing over here!" Me: "Damn right!".
- At my store, no one ever tells me anything and for the 'big event' of "Partner Appreciation Day" I literally was given six smarties and that was all.
- I went to Missy's for lunch at her new apartment uptown and she's living the life of a recent university drop out life, complete with day drinking and getting a quotation from French Absurdist literature tattooed on her arm. She threw (her roommate's) wine in most of our food because she said wine is how she fixes problems. Our pasta and steak was pretty good.
- Her roommate has three cats; one is a kitten they named Bitch Cat (they didn't want to get attached), later Regina George, later Reggie, and now Party Cat. Party Cat is my favourite embodiment of chaos and stupidity.
- After we did a legitimate coffee shop crawl. We did a loop of Starbucks/Java Moose/Second Cup. The best part is that we didn't pay for anything because between Missy, Maegan and me, we probably know every barista in the city.
- I want to kick off summer in a fun way but I'm not sure how yet.
Julianne
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
"Actual ball of anxiety" Julianne
It's been a rough few days.
It's the last week of classes before exams but its not exams that are getting to people; on the contrary, it's almost everything but that. People all around me are losing their shit over anything and everything. I think what makes it especially prevalent is that we're reaching a point where awards are given out and everyone is really self aware of their position in the school's eyes. On a day to day basis, I interact largely with a group of people who have made the most of high school but are just under the line of actually getting recognition from the school for their achievements. There is so much animosity towards the few people who are getting crazy amounts of recognition for their contributions to the school and I and many others are pissed that we are being lumped together with the people who've done next to nothing because we feel we've done a lot. All those awards are awful because they make the people with egos feel better about themselves and launches those under the mark of excellence into a fit of self deprecation or public mocking of others. I've been between these two distinct groups as they've divided and I find myself really anxious because of all the passive aggression surrounding me. Everyone's anger towards each other that has built up over time is coming out and I'm not sure if it's temporary or not. However, the one agreement that can be found is that we are all so done with excitement around graduation. We don't want to endure the next two or three weeks of filling the time with various grad events, prom, and graduation. This week, senioritis hit us with a new vengence.
Another thing that's been stressing me out is university. This thing happens when I have to do anything to prepare for university, I alternate between freaking out a little bit or turning into an actual incapacitated ball of anxiety. The immensity of the changes I'll experience in the next few months slapped me in the face yesterday right before work and I spent the first fifteen minutes of my shift crying in the bathroom. I'm so bad at changes and I know that it's going to be a lot of stress in moving away and settling down in a new place. I suppose having Hannah as my roommate is good and that's a load off my mind. I'm going into this knowing that I'll probably freak out a lot in those first few weeks or months away. I'll be surrounded by people I don't know in a city I've collectively only ever spent four or five days of my life in. I'm being taken away from all but a two or three of my close friends. I'm legitimately terrified of change, even drastically inevitable change.
At least I know my job is only lasting until the end of July. That's so freeing, especially considering how my store is going to hell more than usual. Yesterday after my crying in the bathroom episode, I witnessed my shift Martha lose it about my store on the phone to someone at the uptown store. She had worked all afternoon with just my manager and, in the ridiculously intense manner of my store, was told she was doing everything wrong. Along with pointing out all her minuscule faults, my manager also took it upon herself to label every silly object behind the counter and tape up pieces of paper telling us how to act around customers. I shit you not, there is list of conversation starters taped to our espresso machine. Martha is definitely not the ideal super cheerful chatty accommodating type that my manger wants everyone to be and Martha sort of just paced around all shift after the manger left with the occasional short outbursts like "There's a bigger picture!" and "It's just coffee!". It was a bonding experience having the both of us so pissed at everything while trying to simultaneously run a coffee shop.
So that's pretty much been my life lately.
Hearts,
Julianne
It's the last week of classes before exams but its not exams that are getting to people; on the contrary, it's almost everything but that. People all around me are losing their shit over anything and everything. I think what makes it especially prevalent is that we're reaching a point where awards are given out and everyone is really self aware of their position in the school's eyes. On a day to day basis, I interact largely with a group of people who have made the most of high school but are just under the line of actually getting recognition from the school for their achievements. There is so much animosity towards the few people who are getting crazy amounts of recognition for their contributions to the school and I and many others are pissed that we are being lumped together with the people who've done next to nothing because we feel we've done a lot. All those awards are awful because they make the people with egos feel better about themselves and launches those under the mark of excellence into a fit of self deprecation or public mocking of others. I've been between these two distinct groups as they've divided and I find myself really anxious because of all the passive aggression surrounding me. Everyone's anger towards each other that has built up over time is coming out and I'm not sure if it's temporary or not. However, the one agreement that can be found is that we are all so done with excitement around graduation. We don't want to endure the next two or three weeks of filling the time with various grad events, prom, and graduation. This week, senioritis hit us with a new vengence.
Another thing that's been stressing me out is university. This thing happens when I have to do anything to prepare for university, I alternate between freaking out a little bit or turning into an actual incapacitated ball of anxiety. The immensity of the changes I'll experience in the next few months slapped me in the face yesterday right before work and I spent the first fifteen minutes of my shift crying in the bathroom. I'm so bad at changes and I know that it's going to be a lot of stress in moving away and settling down in a new place. I suppose having Hannah as my roommate is good and that's a load off my mind. I'm going into this knowing that I'll probably freak out a lot in those first few weeks or months away. I'll be surrounded by people I don't know in a city I've collectively only ever spent four or five days of my life in. I'm being taken away from all but a two or three of my close friends. I'm legitimately terrified of change, even drastically inevitable change.
At least I know my job is only lasting until the end of July. That's so freeing, especially considering how my store is going to hell more than usual. Yesterday after my crying in the bathroom episode, I witnessed my shift Martha lose it about my store on the phone to someone at the uptown store. She had worked all afternoon with just my manager and, in the ridiculously intense manner of my store, was told she was doing everything wrong. Along with pointing out all her minuscule faults, my manager also took it upon herself to label every silly object behind the counter and tape up pieces of paper telling us how to act around customers. I shit you not, there is list of conversation starters taped to our espresso machine. Martha is definitely not the ideal super cheerful chatty accommodating type that my manger wants everyone to be and Martha sort of just paced around all shift after the manger left with the occasional short outbursts like "There's a bigger picture!" and "It's just coffee!". It was a bonding experience having the both of us so pissed at everything while trying to simultaneously run a coffee shop.
So that's pretty much been my life lately.
Hearts,
Julianne
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