Firstly, I feel like my day to day life is becoming nothing more than a series of tasks which I begrudgingly complete. I feel drowned by school work, and I have no doubt in my mind that I'm affected with seasonal depression. Most other people seem to be feeling similarly, making life particularly uneventful.
Another thing, there's this kid named Alex who has been in most of my classes this year. He legitimately has this delusional idea that he is going to take over the world. I befriended him at the beginning of the year before I realized his level of insanity, and I often regret this. You see, he also has this delusional idea that he a shot with me. He's friends with James, so it only encouraged him to see one of my friends going out with James. He doesn't seem to get the idea that I'm not interested. He doesn't understand the four months of repeated rejections, eventually followed by many bitter and irritated comments from me. But he just doesn't lose hope. It's getting ridiculous. (Why do I get the crazy ones? Wait, don't answer that.)
Next, James and Katie are annoy me. They're a couple, but they don't seem to get that they don't have to shut everybody else out of their lives. It can't possibly be healthy for a relationship, especially in 10th grade, and it's bothering me.
Also, I need to write Brea. I've had several dreams reminding me of this. I know it's been two and a half months since Elissa died, but I have no idea how to start an email. How do I start an email two and a half months after a mutual friend, pretty much only mutual friend, dies suddenly in a car accident, far away from where either of you are currently living? I don't want her to turn into 'somebody I used to know'.
*note*: I wrote this while in the middle of a writing a commentary, just to explain my pessimism. I looked at it, and it still remains true, so I decided to leave it.
A few good things:
I seem to have landed myself an open invitation to play with the worship team at my church whenever I so choose. I don't get stressed out over the relatively chill atmosphere there, so I think it's one of my better options as far as my musical future is concerned. I can't work with music and pressure, all times I've tried, I've failed.
My weekend looks relatively free, apart from two musical practices. So, in my terms, relatively light on homework.
Love,
-J-
Definitely my all time favorite Beatles' song. It make me happy when skies are gray :)
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