An explosion of thoughts. More or less.

I have reached the point in time where I am very ready to settle down to a summer of letting days slip by without anything to do except supporting a slushie addiction, watching seasons of TV and the occasional trip to the beach.

Unfortunately, there are 9 days left of school and then there's exam week.

I didn't understand third period today when a guy said to me,"Seriously, I can't do anything right now. I don't care that there are only two weeks left, I can't do it."

Now, after amazing weather this afternoon after a week of rain, I agree wholeheartedly.

People are walking around in a daze, surviving only on the fact that everyday is closer to summer.

On a different train of thought, I had a rather busy weekend. Moriah, Noah and I spent a while at Allan's house after school on Friday and they made me watch 'I Know What You Did Last Summer.' Even after they turned the lights on, I spent most of the time curled up in a ball covering my ears. I don't think they will ever let me live it down.

Friday evening and Saturday the four of us went to a Vineyard gathering at a church near Allan's house. Considering I'm from a traditional (tired) Baptist church, the Vineyard is pretty crazy and awesome to me. People aren't afraid to express themselves. Saturday afternoon, a pastor asked everybody who was under 25 to come up and be prayed for by past and present church leaders. We went up to a sort of prayer mosh pit at the front.

They didn't pray for us not to be corrupted by the world, as I know a lot of people would have done. They prayed for the potential of our generation. People I didn't even know. Two strangers told me that they sensed I had leadership, that I would guide lots of people and effect their lives. Somebody else told me something similar last weekend.

I don't really know what I think of this. It's just sort of a foreign concept with me, to have several strangers tell me a sort of prophesy.

I don't really think of myself as being a leader, so it's even stranger that several people mention something I didn't know I had. But I guess I will have to wait and find out what this brings.

Sorry if I freaked anyone out with this.
Love,
-J-
City buses: 24

Why today is awesome.

• I have a job for this summer. More about this later.
• I'm pumped for going on a week long mission trip in July with my youth group and another one. They created a facebook group today, the first thing posted is "Let's start by having people introduce themselves... tell a few fun facts about yourself and what type of cookie you would describe yourself as."
• Alex has a girlfriend. This makes my life less awkward, now that his crush on me extending from October has ended. 
• I had a really awesome long weekend at a youth retreat. Despite being pissed off at the world for the first day and a half, in which it was dreadfully obvious to everyone, I got a lot of perspective and I got rid of some emotions that I needed to, mostly over the events of last November 29th.

How many times

Can I push it aside?
Is it time I befriended all the ghosts of all the things that haunt me most.

So they leave me alone
Move on with my life
Be certain the steps of left and right don't fight the direction of upright

I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now
If I become what I can't accept
Resurrect the saint from within the wretch
Pour over me and wash my hands of it.

 

 It's time to decide
Which is out of my mind
Cause it'll be me unless I put some thoughts to rest and leave some faults behind
I'll watch the glint in my eye
Shine off the spring in my step
And could be blinding depending on the amount of You that I reflect

Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through
What I could've done better but what good do what ifs do
There's something I should tell you now

  (Forget and not slow down)

In my case, it's not about the forgetting (it's not good to forget), but the not slowing down. Learning to handle what life throws. Not letting it tear you apart.

Love,

-J-

City buses taken this year: 23

African rain.

The weather brought my some weird perspective today.

It's been raining for about a week. My general impression of the outside world is "soggy" at the moment.

It's strange though, how here rain here is such a bother.

I miss the days in Kenya where I would sit with a cup of chai tea, listening to the rain pouring on to the metal roof, nothing in the world I would rather be doing. The sound of rain on a mabati roof is the most comforting sound in the world.

African rain is welcomed, because of the hope it brings. There were times when it was so dry, rain drops would make little clouds of dust rise. Farmers rejoice for their crops, people are full of happiness. I remember running through the rain feeling nothing but joy. Rain made everything smell and feel fresh and alive. Birds chirped louder, flowers smelled sweeter, grass felt crisper.

I miss having a simple life.

I miss when people had pure, unadulterated happiness.

I miss the sound of rain on a mabati roof. 

I miss Africa.
Love,
-J-

Hey...

A outhouse in Florida that my brother and I thought looked remarkably like a TARDIS. Or, as my brother said, a TURDIS. *shudders at pun*.

 Well, this is awkward.

I feel odd picking back up after a slightly lengthy absence.

So many projects. The occasional bout of nice weather. Drivers ed.

To be perfectly honest, my head has been spinning around and around and I can barely form a complete thought, not to mention write a post.

But anyway, until I get my head straightened out, here is an exert of a zombie apocalypse survivors that my brother wrote for his 7th grade English class:

The wait was boring, just as it had been every time they found themselves in that particular bunker. It wasn't a particularly boring bunker, it just lacked the festivities of curing the infection... with bullets.

I missed the days in school where creativity wasn't beat out of us with endless commentaries and lab reports. *sigh*.

Love,

The still present -J-

City buses taken: 21

Julian Smith- Rendezvous with You

Definitely one of my favorite youtubers.