Today I learned that I'm so good at cities.
Just kidding. I woke up feeling ok and at noon I was ok but then in Connecticut about twenty minutes from the New York boarder, I was suddenly really aware that I was on a crowded four lane divided highway. I was simultaneously struck with claustrophobia and fear of fast cars, despite that I was but a passenger. Needless to say, the rest of the drive was not a fun one, but rather one filled with anxious shallow breathing and frantic games of solitaire on my phone with hopes that it would distract me. Then came the actual city. My parents somehow thought walking through Times Square would be a good idea. However, I wasn't really in the mood for such things and didn't want to be near people, touch people, or do anything other than stare downwards, burrow into my scarf and scuffle away from crowds. There probably has never been a worse day for me to go into Times Square.
I guess I need to get out of New Brunswick more often. I've been through London, Amsterdam and Nairobi without too many problems and suddenly I have issues with anything over two lane highways. I walk overcrowded hallways five days a week. I really shouldn't be scared of much. Maybe I'm just aging into an old lady, unsettled by change, way before my time.
Damn sporadic anxiety.
Things will look up from here.
Hearts,
Julianne